Shohei Ohtani Asks Teams To Pitch Him In Writing

HBT- Japanese pitcher/outfielder Shohei Ohtani wants to know how MLB teams plan on using him next season — a reasonable request, given the high demand for his services and his remarkable skill set and track record over the last five years. According to a report from the Associated Press, agent and co-head of CAA Baseball Nez Balelo sent a detailed memo that asked teams to define his client’s role and pitch him on the benefits of signing a contract with them.

Here’s exactly what that includes:

Balelo’s memo asks for a team to evaluate Ohtani’s talent as a pitcher and as a hitter; to explain its player development, medical training and player performance philosophies and facilities; to describe its minor league and spring training facilities; to detail resources for Ohtani’s cultural assimilation into the team’s city; to demonstrate a vision for how Ohtani could integrate into the team’s organization; and to tell Ohtani why the team is a desirable place to play.

Per the report, teams were specifically instructed not to include any financial terms in their letters.

Ohtani is a unique situation because at only 23 years old, he is leaving big money on the table by trying to join the MLB before he turns 25. Since he will likely only cost a $3.5mil signing bonus and the league minimum, this is the kind of signing that can change a franchises future. However, not every Japanese signing, or any signing (Mark Appel), is guaranteed to pan out so some of these requests are a bit much to me.

In reality, there are only a few places where Ohtani can land. The Rangers and Yankees can offer the most money and Seattle has seen Japanese players succeed there in the past. Nintendo also owns 10% of the Mariners and I feel like that plays a role and I mean that in the least racist way possible. The Dodgers could be a landing spot but can’t offer a significant bonus. So why are we asking these questions of everyone when your agent has most of the answers and the rest can be done in a text message?

Since teams have to answer it, and because I love my guys, I have decided to answer for the Yankees:

• The club’s evaluation of Ohtani as a pitcher and a hitter - They say you’re pretty good. If you want to try and do both, we’ll give it a shot. If you stink though you’ll get booed out of the place an we’ll have to change things up. Regardless, we’ll give you all the money we can and get you some endorsement money.
• The player development, medical treatment and performance philosophies and facilities - In order, we have a top farm system in baseball, don’t have Ray Ramirez, and if you play well you get to play more often. For Facilities, we have Yankee Stadium, which is pretty nice.
• Facilities for major- and minor-league clubs and spring training - Whats with all the facilities shit? Are you a baseball player or an engineer? We’ve got a complex in Tampa that’s pretty good for Spring Training. AAA is like an hour away in Scranton and Scranton SUCKS but we’ll probably send you there for a few days so that we can control you for an extra year. Besides that, we play half the games at Yankee Stadium and there is a McDonalds across the street. 
• Resources to aid Ohtani’s assimilation into the city - You can talk to Tanaka and Matsui whenever you want, you can borrow Matsui’s porn collection* (no more than 3 tapes at a time), and we’ll make sure your first meal isn’t bodega sushi.
• Why the team is an ideal spot for Ohtani - Glad you asked. We’re the New York Yankees and everyone else isn’t. We’ve got 26 rings and a pocket watch that we plan on adding to in the near future. We have a bunch of money that we plan on spending in a year (you won’t see any of it because of the control thing mentioned 2 answers ago), so whatever we don’t already have on the team we’ll just buy. You’ll make more money in the long run if you’re good, and you won’t be stuck in Seattle in the rain like Cano missing the playoffs.

At this point, Ohtani signing in New York is merely a formality as we wait for the leagues to agree on posting fees and Cashman to officially say that we’ll try out this experiment with Ohtani playing DH a few times a week if his pitching holds up. So, let’s cut the crap with these questionnaires so that Cashman can focus on the remaining 21 manager interviews.

*People forget that Matsui is a HUGE porn guy with a vast collection.